A Thousand Year Masterpiece
by Mewsol
Summary: Feliciano finally has become himself again after centuries of isolation. After finally opening his heart to the world, he decides to share a story- one that spans more than a thousand years. "Ludwig..." Feliciano spoke, his voice pained. "I will sit here as long as I need to, even if it takes forever... only until I have found the answers to my heart's questions..."
1. Prologue

_Mewsol and twilightwolfqueen409 present_

_**A Thousand-Year Masterpiece**_

**Summary:** Feliciano finally has become himself again after centuries of isolation. After finally opening his heart to the world, he decides to share a story- one that spans more than a thousand years. "Ludwig..." Feliciano spoke, his voice pained. "I will sit here as long as I need to, even if it takes forever... only until I have found the answers to my heart's questions..."

**Pairing:** GerIta (Germany x Italy)

* * *

Even now, looking back, it's hard for me to believe what I've become. So much has happened lately that I just can't put it all here. Sometimes, I wonder, how on earth did I become so open? So _extroverted_. _Introvert_ was the word they used to label me with, and I was fine with that. No one bothered to talk to me anyway; I was still as carefree as I used to be.

Happiness can be achieved in many different ways. I achieved my own through drawing and painting. For many years, that was all I ever did. My life had no meaning to it other than to fill up each and every empty canvas. My brother, at the rare times when he would come to my house, would look at me funny and try to talk to me, but fail every attempt. I had lost my speech from my mindless painting.

People always say "the Italians are the best lovers." I can prove to you, with my own self, that I am the exception. I always told myself I could never love. And it was nearly true- the only person I had any affections for was my brother, but I never even told him that I cared for him, not one bit. I break every Italian stereotype ever created. I'm not some ordinary Italian that eats pasta, takes siestas, and talks to everyone. I'm Italia Veneziano, Feliciano Vargas, that's who I am. The personification of North Italy. And for once in my life I am not proud of it.

Nations live very long lives. And in my long life, I've seen myself change so many times I can't even keep track. But then memories eventually surface quickly and I am able to look back at everything like I am now. That is what a nation must do- keep track of its history so it can be preserved for future generations.

But I am not keeping track of my history. History is not memories, history is written down in books by biased individuals who get all the information wrong. I'm the only one who knows my true "history", but what I am about to tell you is not my history. It's my memories that I have held dear to me, the memories that appear in my paintings when my subconscious controls the paintbrush in my hand. For once, I can truly tell my story, one that has never been shared before. My story is filled with war, sadness, heartbreak, happiness, and one special person who just dragged me out of my shell and made me who I am today.

This one special person… I feel like I must talk about him before retelling my long story that spans many centuries.

His name is Germany, Ludwig Beilschmidt. But many years ago, I am sure he went by another name.

He is not a fantasy; he is not the perfect man. But he is a perfectionist. He looks tough on the outside, but in truth he is really kind and sincere. He's a neat freak and a workaholic that always goes by what the manual says. If the manual told him to strip naked for no reason, then he would. Maybe.  
And he's got this sweet, gentle smile that almost kills me on the inside because of its rarity. No matter how much he denies it, his hands are so soft; whenever he touches my face it feels almost heavenly. Even though heaven on earth is impossible when surrounded by sin. And his eyes, oh God, his eyes. I could gaze into them for hours, but we can't last a minute staring at each other without giggling. Yes, even a man like him laughs, and his laugh is almost, if not just as amazing as his smile.

He's not without his flaws, but I still love him just as much, if not more for them. He says he's not the best at affection, and I would say that a quarter of that statement is true. He is just as affectionate towards me as his actions dictate. He can't come up with pickup lines at all, but I tell him to try anyway, just to see what he says. And honestly, he makes me laugh every time.  
Honestly, I can accept his cooking, but it's not really tasteful. It's definitely better than British food, but certainly not as good as pasta. I'm usually the one who cooks for that very reason. But when it comes to baking, I am the one who fails and he's the one that prevails. I eagerly await nights when he makes us dessert.

I could keep talking about Germany, and how wonderful he is. But to be honest, I would prefer to tell my story, rather than going on about the man I love. Because that is not a story, but me throwing compliments that Germany gets awkward around.

Maybe after I am finished telling it, we may finally be able to see how much we have grown- not as nations, but as humans.

Ludwig, this story is for you.


	2. your SMILE means the most

**Chapter _ONE_- **your **smile** means the most.

_"How can I smile when you're not here?"_

* * *

It was the day before the 30 Years' War. The mighty battle between Holy Rome and his surrounding foes was about to begin, and boy did he have much do prepare for. Most of the time he had for was to train and be ready for this fight, but any time he did have free he made sure to spend it with the innocent and sweet Italy.

"I-Italia?!" he called out shyly. He was trying to find "her" before joining Austria for dinner.

"Ah!" Italy heard the voice and immediately fell off the couch, having being awoken from his siesta. Even though he was supposed to be cleaning the house, he was slacking off anyway.

"I'm okay!" Italy called from across the room, waving his hand a bit to get Holy Rome's attention before standing up. He unwrinkled his dress and laughed a bit, knowing it was just a little slip up.

"Ah," Holy Rome said as he walked over to "her".  
"I just wanted to tell you that I am leaving tomorrow morning... I'm not sure how long this war will last or for how long they will need me, so I hope you will stay strong and healthy for me, okay?" he said to the nation as a slight blush played on his cheeks.

"And... If I don't come back... Do continue to smile for me, okay?" he requested. Being a bit of a pessimist, as young as he is, he had to request it in a worst case scenario.

"W-what do you mean if you don't come back? Y-you'll come back! You're very brave, so I know that you'll be okay," Feliciano replied nervously, wondering why Holy Rome would suggest such a thing.

But even so, there was still that looming possibility overhead- it was definitely possible Holy Rome might not make it. But how could Chibitalia even imagine life without him?

_I would still paint and clean. And I'd listen to Austria play music and Hungary would tell me stories and dress me in weird clothes,_ Feliciano thought, his expression becoming more worried. _And... I would still go out to the meadow, except I'd be by myself, but that's okay, right? T-that's okay...!  
_  
"Waaah!" Italy cried out, holding his head in fear. "I can't even imagine it... you have to come home safely! Y-you're a country, you have to!"

"I-I'm only saying that in precaution!" Holy Rome said in an attempt to calm the other down. "I am going up against older nations," he explained. He then began to worry a bit about what would happen to the gentle nation if he did disappear. "J-just try to stay strong for as long as I am gone, okay? I-I will never stop fighting for you..."

"I'll be strong for you, Holy Rome..." Italy promised, smiling hopefully with the thought that the other nation would definitely return. "I'll wait every day for you. When you come back, I promise I'll paint you something, _va bene?_"

"O-okay," Holy Rome said and hesitated a moment before gently hugging the Italian nation tightly. "Whenever I feel down, I'll think of your smile..."

"Always remember, I'll be waiting for you. I know you can make it, Holy Rome..." Feliciano told the empire, smiling as tears fell down his face, catching the light from the gigantic window. "You'll have someone to come home to. And then we can live together forever!"

"I will never forget," the empire said and gave "her" his handkerchief before leaving to get ready for dinner, a small tear running down his own cheek silently. He quickly wiped it from his face after turning the corner.

_Keep smiling..._Feliciano thought, sitting down on a small cushion on the windowsill and clutching the handkerchief tightly to his chest, neglecting the tears dripping down his face. After the room cleared, he looked outside into the meadow as evening dawned over it; the sun still highlighting the daisies and lilacs that adorned the beautiful place. Starting tomorrow, Feliciano and Holy Rome would no longer play there like they used to- but that was okay, Holy Rome promised he would fight hard to return home.

Feliciano thought about what would happen if he could ever predict the future. Would he really want that? What if Holy Rome really didn't come back? Or what if Holy Rome returned, but he realized that his childhood love was really a boy, and he didn't love him anymore?

Italy was already becoming comfortable with the windowsill. He felt it was a great place to examine his thoughts- especially when they truly mattered most.  
If Feliciano really could predict the future, he would immediately want to dismiss his power, with all of the battles that lay ahead for him- physically and emotionally. His only weapon at this time was hope- and it was losing its ammunition as the hours passed. It was shortly becoming nighttime, closer to the time when Holy Rome would leave- and possibly never come back. Feliciano wanted to rewind time so he could stop all of this war from happening, but he knew it was the duty of a country to fight whenever necessary.

Truthfully, Feliciano didn't know what he really wanted. All he wanted was for Holy Rome to return safely, no matter how many centuries he had to wait... even if it took a lifetime.

As dawn broke the following morning, the sound of horses being saddled and readied for battle could be heard from the barn.

It was finally time to leave when the sun was barely above the horizon and Holy Rome was about to join his escorts to the front when he looked back. He was going to miss that house, all the laughter, painting, listening to Austria play on the piano.

All the noise outside woke up Italy. He arose from bed with mixed feelings- would he want to watch Holy Rome leave, or stay home, too afraid to say goodbye? Italy would wait by the window anyway, he could still see from there…

Feliciano quickly decided to run outside and see Holy Rome for what might be the last time. "Holy Roooome!" he called out, feeling tears form in his eyes already. _No, keep smiling..._ Feliciano told himself. He had to smile, what if Holy Rome never returned?

Holy Rome stopped a moment and turned around to face him, his face emotionless as usual from years of practice to not be intimidated by larger nations but his eyes still gave away the sadness he had. He stepped away from the troop to see what Italy had to say.

"_Ja,_ Italia?" Holy Rome asked.

"I... I came to say goodbye to you," Feliciano said quietly as the tears fell from his eyes, catching the light like crystals. "I know this could be the last time we'll ever see each other... I want it to make it last."  
Italy slowly walked closer to Holy Rome, feeling an aching pain in his chest. It always hurt to say goodbye, how would he ever be able to smile again like he promised? He quickly wrapped his arms around Holy Rome, hugging him tightly, afraid to let go. He needed this fleeting feeling of happiness more than anything, at least for a moment so the last thing Holy Rome would see of him was his smile.  
"Y-you can't leave... war is the very thing that destroys a country. It turns nations into power-hungry monsters, stopping at nothing to gain control," Feliciano reminded Holy Rome, hoping that would change his mind. "I can't bear to see you like that... if you keep becoming stronger, you'll only collapse in the end."

"Italia..." Holy Rome said softly and held him close a moment. "I'm sorry, but I have to do this... My boss wants me to.." he pulled away a moment and blushed before kissing "her" shyly.  
"I promise I won't turn into a monster.. I'll come back as the same person I am today.."

Feliciano gently nuzzled Holy Rome's cheek as the corners of his lips curved into a hopeful smile, hiding a hint of sadness. "I promise I'll be the same me too. And I'll always wait for you..." Italy began silently praying feverishly to God to give both him and Holy Rome the strength to keep true to their promises. He looked into Holy Rome's eyes, the tears nearly blurring his vision. "I know you have to go, Holy Rome... but we'll always remember this day."

Feliciano slowly leaned in and kissed Holy Rome on the lips for the very first time. As their lips met, Feliciano could feel his heart skip a beat. Their lips were gently pressed together; it was peaceful more than anything else. The two, in their minds and hearts, were encased in a dream-like world, where only the two of them existed. Both knew it would only be for a short time, but they tried to forget about that as they gently closed their eyes. All was silent, even the other soldiers held their lips. Italy's dress and Holy Rome's cape both caught the gentle breeze blowing through the field, as well as some of the leaves skipping across the rocky ground. A small ray of sunlight seemed to reach down and touch the earth before retracting back to give Italy and Holy Rome peace.

When the kiss finally broke, Holy Rome turned before Italy could see the tears in his eyes and began going towards his horse. He looked back once more when he was on his horse. He nodded to "her" and waved goodbye.  
"Remember our promise," he said before riding off with the troops.

* * *

_"...right when he turned around, he caught my face when it was covered in tears. I was smiling, but he couldn't see the sadness, the pain hidden behind my smile. This was the first time I had to hide my emotions, the first step on the road to losing sight of who I truly was. I couldn't bear to look at him anymore, I felt like my hope was being drained away-"_

_Feliciano stopped telling the story suddenly after noticing that Ludwig was experiencing a headache. "Ah! Ludwig! I-I'm sorry!" he cried out, his face becoming panicked. "I-I won't talk about him anymore, I promise..." Feliciano looked out the window rather worriedly, realizing it was rather late at night. "We should go to sleep, so your headache will go away."_

_The German shook his head a bit.  
"Nein, keep talking about him. I want to know what happened to him and understand what happened to you," he said. "I'm sure it will pass after a bit and I'll take some medicine if it gets worse. Besides, it's the weekend. You can take as long as you feel."_

_"Tomorrow..." Feliciano yawned and rested his head against Ludwig's muscular chest. "...I'll tell you more tomorrow." Feliciano's eyes fluttered lightly, he was having trouble staying awake. "Can I sleep at your house tonight? I'm too tired to walk home..."_

_"Alright," Ludwig said and gently petted his head. "And sure, I think I have some of your old clothes that you left somewhere in the guest room." He gently picked him up before taking him upstairs to the guest room._

_Feliciano's face instantly turned bright red. "Uh... b-but Ludwig, I don't need clothes... I sleep more comfortably without them."_

_Ludwig blushed a bit. "Alright, but if you decide to crawl into my bed in the middle of the night, do at least wear your underwear..." he sighed._

_"I can't guarantee that~" Feliciano said with a playful wink before walking out of the room to strip completely naked. He was terribly afraid of sleeping alone, so he decided to wait until Ludwig was about to go to sleep._

_Ludwig shook his head and went into his own bedroom to change into his tank top and boxers before climbing into bed.  
With the headache he had, it didn't take long to fall asleep and relax._

_Feliciano crept into Ludwig's bedroom after waiting a few minutes. He was a professional at sneaking into Ludwig's bed- he always slipped under the covers with finesse. And he did just that again today. He was even able to cuddle up to Ludwig and absorb the German's warmth._

_The slow ticking of the clock on the wall began to lull Feliciano into a deep sleep, but not before images of Holy Rome began drifting through his head- it was a memory that seemed both distant and nearby at the same time._

_Feliciano only wished he could grasp it, his hand was trembling slightly as if he was reaching out for the distant memory. But then, he noticed Ludwig turning over, and the very sight of his lover's face made him feel like Holy Rome was no longer just a memory, but a reality._

_But Feliciano didn't want to think about it anymore, it was too stressful. He shifted closer to Ludwig and slowly fell asleep, drifting off into the dream world of his memories._

* * *

**end chapter ****_ONE_**


	3. we are OURSELVES

**Chapter ****_TWO_****-** we are **ourselves**

_"I love you for who you are."_

* * *

_"Wake up, Italia!"  
"Come on, it's morning!"_

Feliciano slowly opened his eyes and lifted his head from the cushion on the windowsill. Italy had started _sleeping_ by the windowsill now, it was the closest place in the house to Holy Rome. In Austria and Hungary's eyes, it only seemed to make a dismal time worse... they had to find a way to make Italy happy again, despite their low confidence.

Hungary decided to come in and check on the small nation.  
"Italy... You really need to stop sitting there..." she said and sat next to him on the windowsill, gently patting his hair. "I know you miss him, but what will he think if he saw you like this?" she asked.

All Feliciano could do was just shrug, he couldn't manage to say one word. He just stared dreamily out the window, pretending Holy Rome was outside in the meadow, picking flowers for his beloved. Feliciano just sat there in silence, his face seemingly emotionless, without any life in it.

After a few minutes of silence, Feliciano finally turned to face Hungary and spoke, still trying to get used to his new voice. "Breakfast. Bread and butter, please."

Feliciano turned back to the window again. He didn't remember who he once was anymore- only that he used to be happy.

The Hungarian sighed and nodded. "Okay, sweety. Just promise me you will try to eat something more later on..." she said before hugging him tightly and kissing his forehead.  
Austria had left to go find some new clothes for the Italian, the change in the Italian's change in voice had startled him greatly, so Hungary was in charge of the house for a little while. She fetched the desired breakfast and a glass of milk for him.  
She returned and sat next to him before gently rubbing his back.  
"He will come back, don't worry.. He's a descendant of your Grandfather's friend.. It will take a lot to take him down.." she said, though she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince.

"Even... if he does come back, he won't know who I am anymore..." Feliciano stated as he placed his head against the window. He could feel tears forming again; they transferred from his soft face to the window.

"All the waiting won't mean anything..." he said worriedly, pain evident in his soft, cracked voice.  
"Hmm... I know. I will draw something." And with that, he stood up, leaving the bread and butter behind, uneaten, to find a pen and paper somewhere in the house.

Elizaveta sighed and covered the bread and butter in case he did decide to eat.  
_"He will always recognize you.. Even if it is not at first, he will know it's you..."_ she thought as she helped him find something to draw with.

Feliciano finally found Austria's study, noticing little jars of ink with pens inside. Now being thirteen, he could finally reach the art supplies. He took a few pens and paper and brought them back to the windowsill, dipping the pen inside the ink while gazing at the blank "canvas". It was so inviting, to finally draw something. And now he had a purpose. His true feelings, all his desires, could be communicated through art... to no one but himself.

Hungary twisted a lock of her hair in her fingers and watched him, glad to see he had something productive to do.  
After a few minutes, the door to the house was opened and Austria walked up to the Italian's room  
"Italy? Can I interrupt you for a few minutes?" Austria asked, holding a couple bags filled with clothes.

"Hmm." Feliciano was silent as he placed the pen back in the jar of ink. He reluctantly slid off the windowsill and walked slowly over to Roderich, standing straight to show his obedience.

Italy examined the bags for a bit, remembering that Austria said he would return with boys' clothes. He nodded in understanding, before relaxing his stance.

"I would like you to try these on. Any ones that seem to be loose, I am sure Hungary will help you with," he said and walked away to deal with some work... Or to compose a piece of music.

Elizaveta sighed and turned to Feliciano. "Are you ready?"

"Mmhm." Feliciano let out a soft mumble, nodding as he turned his head to the window again. "We can stay here," he said, his voice losing its emotion as he pointed to the windowsill. His tone suggested a demand rather than a mere suggestion.  
"I like this place. I want to stay here."

The Hungarian sighed. "Alright, I guess we can do that. Want some help getting out of your dress?"

Feliciano didn't respond, only attempting to take the dress off himself. It had definitely grown much tighter on him since he hit his growth spurt, so he wound up shuffling a lot to try and get the dress off. Feliciano still couldn't manage to even get it to slip down one inch, no matter how much he tried.

"Yes. You can help," he finally said after much effort to do the job himself.

Elizaveta nodded and helped him pull the dress off carefully before hugging him. "Italy... Will you be alright...?" she asked worriedly, her motherly instincts going into overdrive.  
"Mmhm..." Feliciano mumbled, blushing softly as he felt Elizaveta's arms around him. "I'll be okay. Everyone's happy, so I'll be okay."

"Everyone but you..." she said worriedly before she put the dress down on the seat and handed him a white shirt.

Feliciano slid on the white shirt fairly easily, until he realized the sleeves were slightly too long. But it didn't matter much to Feliciano anyway. He smiled a bit as he shook his wrists, flapping the sleeves playfully, which made Elizaveta giggle. "Okay, let us try on the pants now~" she said and held the maroon colored pants up to him. "After that, I will see what I can do to make your clothes fit a bit better.." she trailed off in thought.

"Hmm..." Feliciano slipped on the pants rather easily, thinking they would be loose on him. The pants were a bit loose but fit perfectly around the waist. He looked down at his new clothes and smiled a bit, before averting his gaze to the old dress on the floor. Feliciano picked it up, only Holy Rome in his mind as he wondered what his lover would think of him.

"We have to buy new dresses too, for when Holy Rome comes back..." he simply stated, knowing he had changed so quickly in a short amount of time. Originally, he thought this change was for the better, but he was starting to doubt that now. Feliciano looked so different...

* * *

_"...Ludwig, if I was actually a girl, would you love me the same?" Feliciano asked, interrupting the story- he had to know what Ludwig thought. Holy Rome never found out, maybe he could at least resolve the age-old question in his mind._

"I mean, I know I'm not a girl..." Feliciano knew he didn't need to remind himself or Ludwig, but he slid off his shirt anyway. "...I'd probably act the same, I'd just look different."

_Ludwig blushed a bit as Feliciano took his shirt off and rubbed the back of his head a bit in thought.  
"Well, I love you for who you are as a person.. I do not think it would have made a difference unless your whole personality changed.." he said and leaned his head to the side a bit._

_Feliciano gave a soft smile, knowing he wouldn't be changing drastically anytime soon. Looking back at his past made him analyze his current relationship with Ludwig, even giving him the desire to deepen their relationship. Ever since he started talking to Ludwig after many years, this desire to become closer was prevalent in his mind._

"Ludwig... it makes me really happy to hear that from you. I hear stories of people who only love for one's appearance... and I feel sad whenever I listen to it," Feliciano said, holding Ludwig's hands in his lap gently. "People like them never see the true side of a person. I feel grateful to have found someone like you, who loves me for who I really am."

_Ludwig blushed a bit and gently brushed his thumbs over the Italian's soft hands.  
"I am glad I can make you feel that way," he said softly and gazed into his amber eyes._

_"...even so, I still feel like there's so many things left unresolved... I still have so many questions that haven't been answered," Feliciano admitted, gently lifting one of Ludwig's hands and caressing it.  
"But I know we'll be able to understand each other a little more someday. I'll keep telling you stories so we can build our trust. And then when we've finally fallen deeper in love with one another... there will be no limits, Ludwig. Imagine that..."  
Feliciano smiled warmly and nuzzled Ludwig's palm. "Ah, I'm wondering what story to tell next. Maybe I can tell the story when Francis visited, and then..." He suddenly became silent, his smile wavering as the memory floated into his head._

_Ludwig gently took his free hand and stroked Feliciano's hair. "If it is too painful.. You don't have to..." He said softly. "I know some stories hurt more than heal..."_

_"Ludwig, my promise, remember? I abandoned it shortly after we fell in love," Feliciano reminded Ludwig, regaining his sweet smile as he rubbed noses with his lover. "Because of you, I've been able to move on. And I think telling the stories helps me leave the past behind."_

_Ludwig blushed once more and nuzzled back a bit. "R-right.." He said and held him close. "Well, do you want to take a small break for some breakfast?" He asked._

_"Sure! I'll let you cook this time, you know, that hearty German breakfast you always talk about~" Feliciano giggled at the thought, but remembered Ludwig's breakfast actually did taste wonderful.  
"It's because you're better at making breakfast than me. And your sausage tastes nice." Ludwig chuckled a bit, "Okay, I will go start breakfast then."_

_"Yay! Thank you, Ludwig!" Feliciano rushed downstairs, not even bothering to wait for Ludwig. He was sure that letting his lover cook was one of the best decisions he had made today._

* * *

**end chapter ****_TWO_**


	4. no time like the PRESENT

**Chapter ****_THREE_****-** no time like the **PRESENT**

_"Time with you has never been sweeter."_

* * *

It was a calm and peaceful afternoon when the Frenchman solemnly walked up to the Austrian's house. It had been a couple days since the war between him and Holy Rome ended, and Francis did not come with happy news for the Italian.  
He hesitated a moment before knocking on the door.

"Ah?" Hungary quickly got up from cooking Italy's lunch. "Roderich, you take over, I'll be right back!" she shouted, running through the corridor leading to the front door. The massive, elegantly decorated door slowly creaked open, the sound waking up Italy.

Feliciano, now seventeen, had been taking a nap on the couch in the parlor for about an hour or two, as he did normally. He peeked out into the foyer and noticed Francis standing in the doorway, talking to Elizaveta. The Italian normally didn't eavesdrop, but from the tone of voice, it seemed serious.

"I understand the fighting must have been rough indeed. It is unfortunate, we're always being dragged into war..." Feliciano heard Elizaveta say. "But it is a blessing, as nations, to be able to endure it all..."

"At least for most of us..." Francis replied solemnly. He then undid the leather belt that was holding a wrapped item on his side. He held it tightly in his hands.

"...I'm sorry, but he did not make it.. He fought until he couldn't move anymore.." he continued. "He wanted me to pass a word onto Feliciano..."

"Y-you don't say-!" Elizaveta was shocked and guilt-ridden at the same time; she turned away sadly only to see the teenage Italy peeking out into the room. Just looking at Feliciano's face only increased the regret. All of these years, she had told him that Holy Rome was _strong,_he would return for sure... and her own hopes of seeing Italy and Holy Rome finally reunite were dashed by Francis's words.

"Hello, Francis... what's wrong? You wanted to tell me something?" Feliciano asked, worry building up inside his mind.

Francis found it hard to meet his gaze, for it was at his hand that Holy Rome fell. He felt a twinge in his chest as he did finally meet the young nation's eyes.

"Holy Rome said, _'I will always be watching you, alongside your grandfather,'_" Francis explained. "He also had me bring back this for you.. I know it is not much, but it is all he had on him..." he said as he handed the wrapped gift. When the contents were revealed, it was Holy Rome's cape wrapped around his sword, where a sapphire and amber rosary had been tied around the hilt.

Feliciano held the gift as if it was a holy object, gazing at it longingly as he stood there in complete silence. The only sound that could be heard in the entire house was the sound of steam from the kitchen, and even that noise was starting to lessen as Feliciano felt tears come to his eyes.

All that waiting... was it for nothing? Making the windowsill his home, waiting every day and praying to God feverishly, drawing pictures and sticking them all over his bedroom, _everything,_all that made the very thought of Holy Rome's return part of his life. And those actions were now deemed worthless as he held the precious gifts in his arms.

Feliciano saw the pain in Francis's eyes. It was as if he was afraid to even speak a word of what happened, but scared to hide the truth. What would have been better? To live on, waiting for Holy Rome who would never return, or to live with the truth, knowing that he had been erased from this world?

"...it's everything... all that I have left now..." Feliciano finally whispered amongst the tears. "...I'll keep this for the rest of my life- or what has been left of it."

"Feliciano... I know I may be the last person you wish to talk to, but if it means anything he did try to make it back here to try and see you one last time..." The Frenchman said softly and looked down again. "...I should take my leave now.. I have already overstayed my welcome. Keep him strong, Elizaveta," He said before bowing to her slightly and leaving hastily.

_Smile, Italia..._  
The voice played over and over again in Feliciano's mind, looping like a record. It was a voice that taunted him with its gentleness, tranquility, and familiarity.

And then, the haunting, beckoning image of the little boy in a flowing, black cape.

_"Smile, Italia... keep smiling for me..."_

The image faded to another, the same child, now a teenager, lying in a battlefield. His body was limp, battered and beaten, the blood seeping out of him like a wet, dirty rag. He could barely keep his eyes open as gunshots sounded throughout; the once bright blue eyes Feliciano loved dearly were now fading away. The boy could barely manage a smile, but it was one of hopelessness, seeming to call out to Feliciano.

_"Smile, Italia... for I will always be in your memories..."  
"...all that you have left..."_

"Gaaaahh! Damn it all, I can't smile for God's sake, for _your _sake...!" Feliciano shouted, resisting the urge to throw the precious items in his hands onto the ground.

"I can't go on living like this anymore! _I have to find my brother...!_"

And with that, Feliciano dashed upstairs, seeming to leave a trail of tears in his wake.

"Feliciano-!" the Hungarian cried out after him as he ran off.

After a few hours and Feliciano did not seem to come down for dinner, Elizaveta came to his room and knocked softly.  
"Feliciano? I thought you might be hungry, so I brought some pasta," she said and poked her head in the door.

"...mhh, I'll save it for later. Just put it on the table..." Feliciano mumbled, wondering anxiously how much longer he would have to suffer under Austrian rule. He had to find his brother somehow and unify, it was the only way...

And there was the possibility that unification could make his country stronger, and able to avenge Holy Rome's death; but what was the point in that? Feliciano wouldn't be smiling, because he always had to, it was as if he was wound up that way like a toy.

"...someday, I'll be a strong country. And I won't be in this house anymore. I'll find my brother again, and I can be happy like Holy Rome wanted..." Feliciano said to himself wistfully, knowing Elizaveta would hear but hoping she wouldn't think much of it.

Elizaveta sighed and set the pasta on the table before going to hug the heart broken Italian. "That may be sooner than you think," she said with hope in her voice as she gently rubbed his back. "Y-you really think so?" Feliciano perked up a little a this, but he didn't want to get his hopes up.  
"You won't tell Austria, will you? If he finds out I want to resist, to unify... then he'll never let me leave..."

"I know, dear, and I won't," Elizaveta promised and stroked his hair. "Oh, how much you have grown..." she said with a happy sigh, hugging him suddenly. "Even if you do leave and unify with your brother, do visit me."

"Th-thank you so much-! Ah, I feel about ready to pack up now... but I think I should eat first, maybe..." Feliciano reached over for the bowl of pasta and started eating. "I guess I'll leave tomorrow," he said in between bites. "I know Austria will come after me, so I'm going to keep fighting. This will be so sudden for everyone, but I have no choice..."

"I will try to keep Roderich distracted when you do," Elizaveta assured Feliciano, kissing the Italian's forehead like a mother would.

It took a little while for Feliciano to finish the pasta, he was silent as he ate the rest of his meal. This was only the first step to becoming strong again. He continuously thought about what Holy Rome said- _We can become the Roman Empire again..._

No, he still didn't want that, all he wanted was to be free... but if he had taken that chance, maybe Holy Rome wouldn't have-

It was probably best not to think about that. Instead, he knew that Holy Rome would always be watching him from the heavens. And Feliciano would return that love, always thinking about him. Holy Rome was more than just a first love, he was everything... Feliciano couldn't see himself with anyone else.

"Maybe Holy Rome is still alive."

Just one statement, denying everything that Francis had said. And the words that justified Feliciano's newly-formed promise.

_I'll wait for you, Holy Rome. I promise, I'll love you and only you... forever..._

Elizaveta eventually found a suitcase for him to use and sat next to him when he heard his revelation. "Feliciano... I know it is hard for us nations to die, but Francis did witness him pass away..." she tried to explain.

"B-but he could still be alive... I just know it, somehow..." Feliciano rebutted, but how could he express his own gut feeling? It didn't matter at the moment, the thought was there to drive him to become stronger. And he was truly grateful for Elizaveta's help.

"Thank you, anyway. I've lived here long enough, I'm glad that you're going to help me escape..."

Elizaveta sighed and hugged him tightly, a bit choked up to see him act all grown up. "Just remember I will always be here if you ever need some advice, okay?"

"I'll come visit for sure, Elizaveta. It's a promise." Feliciano gently returned the hug before getting up and gathering his things. "Let's see... I'll pack a few pairs of clothes, when I find my brother I'll probably get more, and oh-" Feliciano quickly grabbed Holy Rome's sword and cape, packing those as well. "Now I need some food... something that won't go sour... Maybe I should take some nuts, and beans..." he thought out loud.

"You get your clothing together, I'll get the food," Elizaveta said and ran off. After a few minutes, she came back with some beans and nuts, as well as some salted meats. She also gave him a small bag of money. "Only use this to get food when you run low, okay?" she warned.

Feliciano took the food and packed it up neatly, making sure there was enough room in order for the food not to get crushed. He felt that the money was safer inside the suitcase than in his pocket, so he put the tiny bag in a small compartment. He then found a map of Europe in a desk drawer and started to study it.

"Hmm... I just have to get to Rome. And then I'll find my brother..." he noted, pointing to the Italian capital on the map. "I have to find a safe route, somehow. If I follow the Danube out of here, then they'll find me..." Feliciano was deep in thought, thinking of the best way out. "Maybe I should go north- no, south, ahh, it's going to be a long journey trying to get out of the empire-"

"Got it! West through Bavaria and south to Tuscany. I have to avoid the borders, and I'll be fine..."

"Do be careful.." Elizaveta hugged him, starting to get a bit emotional and nervous. "Write once you find him, please!"

"I promise, Elizaveta." Feliciano gave a soft smile before packing up the map. "Oh- I need arms, I'll be defenseless..." He checked his drawer, finding only a small pocket knife. "Roderich doesn't like fighting much, right? He won't notice if one pistol is missing."

"I'll get you one from the armory," Elizaveta assured Feliciano and walked off. She was stopped by the Austrian nation though.  
"Elizaveta?! What are you doing?" he asked her, a skeptical look on his face. Their conversation could not be heard from the Italian's room, but a loud clang could be heard.

Elizaveta came back after a short while, shoving a pistol and holster into his hand and kissing Feliciano's forehead.  
"You need to go now. You have what you need and you are a bright nation," she said and turned to walk out.

"Thank you..." Feliciano called out quietly, quickly waving goodbye before picking up the suitcase. He had to be careful not to make too much noise as he walked out onto the balcony to search for a way out.

_I can't jump down, I'd make too much noise. I just have to go through the corridors to the back door, then run towards the river..._Feliciano thought as he walked back inside his room, dashing over to a small spiral staircase downstairs to the storage room.

_Augh, there's a lot of dust in here. I need to be careful-_Feliciano held back a sneeze as he crept through the storage room and around the various boxes and bags that littered the dusty place. Finally, he found a door with stairs leading to the basement. Ever so slowly, he opened the door, cringing as he heard small creaking sounds.

Feliciano had never come across this stairway, for he had only peeked once into the storage room's interior. Even putting a little bit of weight on the wooden step caused it to creak, albeit rather softly; but the sound echoed through the corridor and into the storage room. Luckily, the door was closed, so the sound wave was allowed to bounce around the room while being muffled; unbeknownst to others in the house.

This was still no time to get hasty; his escape had to be planned as he slowly descended into the basement. As he opened another door (one that did not creak), he noticed some windows near the ceiling, along with stacks of books and boxes covered in dust and cobwebs. The little bit of light trickling into the room from the windows made the intricate designs of the spiders' webs stand out from the darkness of the room.

Feliciano thought of rearranging the boxes and books to make a staircase, but he worried that Roderich might know of his escape if he ever came down to the basement again. He had to create a stack with stability, but not obvious enough that it was used to escape.

He stacked the heavy objects into some sort of triangle, climbing along the side of it carefully with suitcase in hand; he was trying so desperately to keep his balance as the boxes and books wobbled from his weight. And then came the strength needed to open the window- luckily, Feliciano was able to do that with his free hand.

He quickly snuck outside through the small entrance, leaving a foot inside to knock down the tower he had made, and then, after removing his foot, closing the window, leaving no trace behind except for a few destroyed cobwebs and handprints surrounded by dust on several of the boxes.

Finally, Feliciano was free... he ran towards the city of Vienna, on his way to the Danube, to get lost in the crowds, to hopefully never be discovered by his possible pursuers.

* * *

_"And you just left? Just like that?" Ludwig asked._

_"Sì... looking back now, it surprises me that I was able to escape so easily and so quickly..." Feliciano rested his head in his palm, looking around aimlessly. "It was as if I had planned the entire escape beforehand. I really could not become stronger for Holy Rome unless I escaped, of course." He gave a little chuckle at his own statement. "It is rather surprising..." Ludwig replied, trying to imagine the escape in his mind. "Maybe Hungary knew you would at some point," Ludwig said and wrapped his arms around the Italian._

Feliciano slid into Ludwig's lap, grabbing a soft pillow from one end of the sofa. "It was a really long journey for sure, I don't remember every step of the way... Ah, I have an idea, let's bake something together!" Feliciano suggested, giving a little kiss on Ludwig's nose. "Let's make sure the oven doesn't explode like last time, okay?"

_"Bake something?" Ludwig questioned the new topic. "Alright. Any reason for it and what shall we bake? he asked, leaning his head against the Italian's, his headache still lingering a bit today. "Chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips," Feliciano suggested, grinning at the thought. "We'd just make some cookie batter and put lots of chocolate syrup in it, right?"_

_"Hmm.. That's a thought, or I can melt down some real chocolate for it.. Which do you prefer?" he inquired. "But still... what is the occasion?"_

_"Oh! How about we melt chocolate? That sounds more fun~" Feliciano remarked, bouncing in Ludwig's lap before tickling him under the chin. "It's even more fun because I'm baking with you. I'm not very good at baking like you are, so I thought this would be a chance to learn. Dai, andiamo, Ludwig!" Feliciano shouted, dashing into the kitchen and taking out eggs, flour, butter, oil- things he imagined would be in the possible recipe._

_Ludwig chuckled at the Italian's enthusiasm and followed after him into the kitchen. He grabbed some chocolate that he would be melting down and set up two pots, one on top of the other to ready the melting process. He pulled out the recipe and had it stick on the cabinet above him so they both could read it. "Do you want to mix the dry ingredients?" Feliciano nodded eagerly in reply, almost running in place as he realized he had never been this excited for anything in a long time. "Oh, that would be nice! Did I get out the right ingredients, do I need more... I-I'm sorry if I'm rushing things..."_

_Ludwig quickly checked over what Feliciano grabbed and took out only two missing items, espresso beans and vanilla extract. "You're fine. Just be careful when mixing," he warned. "Can you read the recipe alright? It's in English..."_

_"Ah, of course I can read it, silly Ludwig," Feliciano teased, poking Ludwig's cheek. He quickly directed his gaze back to the mixing bowl, pouring flour and baking powder in it and stirring the two eagerly, almost playfully like a child would. "I just wanted to be sure..." Ludwig tried to explain. "Don't get it everywhere, please..." he instructed as he melted the chocolate, with a sigh that faded into a small chuckle._

_"Ah, I wo- wah!" A bit of flour found its way onto Feliciano's nose, making the Italian shake his head frantically to get the particle off. Unfortunately, the shaking let some more flour out of the bowl, which only made him panic more "Ah! Feliciano..." Ludwig looked at him a moment before laughing a bit. "Why don't you start adding the wet ingredients? Then we can add the chocolate."_

_"Sounds good!" Feliciano wiped the flour off and carefully picked up an egg out of the carton, cracking it into a separate bowl before doing the same with the second egg.  
"Okay, next... sugar, espresso, salt, and vanilla..." he recited, adding the ingredients to the bowl with the eggs. Feliciano noticed the electric mixer on the table, but wasn't exactly sure how to use it. He thought about trying to use it on his own to impress Ludwig, but he wasn't sure whether it was worth the risk...  
Feliciano decided to do it anyway. The mixer was already plugged in as he turned the switch to high and began beating the ingredients, his hands trembling as he tried to keep everything steady._

_"Careful, Feliciano... Try setting it to a lower speed." Ludwig was careful to warn Feliciano before turning the flame low on the chocolate so it would just stay in a melted state. The stove gave a small beep, letting them know it was preheated and ready. "Ah-" Feliciano quickly took hold of the mixer after almost losing control of it, before switching it to medium. "...that's much better.." he sighed, now easily being able to control the mixer. "How long should I mix for?" The German looked over and said, "That's good. Switch it to low and I will poor the chocolate in, okay?" He turned the heat off before averting his gaze to Feliciano, to keep an eye on him for a bit._

_"Got it!" Feliciano did as instructed, being cautious not to lose control of the mixer as he switched it to low. "I'm ready, Ludwig!"_

_Ludwig slowly poured the chocolate into the mixture and helped him continue to mix the batter. "Alright, I think it is done now," he decided after enough mixing. "Let's get the white chocolate chips in," he said and turned off the mixer._

_"Can I eat a few?" Feliciano asked childishly, his eyes seeming to glow with innocence. The very pleading face he made was rather irresistible, there was no way anyone could refuse... "You can have five." Ludwig sighed and gave him that amount to eat before pulling apart the bowl from the mixer. The chocolate chips had to be mixed by hand._

_"Yay, thank you! My hand's a little tired from mixing, can you take over?" Feliciano said as he popped each of the morsels into his mouth, savoring the taste. "Sure thing." Ludwig nodded and began mixing before he got the cookie sheets out. Feliciano gave a soft sigh as he watched Ludwig prepare the sheets. "You know, I really enjoy doing this with you. It's so wonderful that we've been able to have some time alone..."_

_"It has been nice.. I wish we had more time like this. It is very relaxing," Ludwig said._

_"But we'll always be together, right? Not like the past, when every day, I was afraid of losing you..." Feliciano hugged Ludwig from behind as memories floated into his head. "No matter how many years may pass, I'll always love you-"_

_"...more than anyone else in the world...?"_

_Feliciano grabbed his Iron Cross necklace with his thumb and index finger, fidgeting with it slightly as he tried to hold back tears. "...I-I'm sorry, Ludwig! I can't seem to hide from my memories at all..."_

_Ludwig put the first batch in the oven before turning to Feliciano with a small smile. "It's okay, Feliciano. I understand that you still have many unanswered questions about Holy Rome," he said as he gently embraced the smaller nation and rubbed his back._

_During all this though, a slight pain had been building up from a headache. With each story, it seemed to get worse and worse. Ludwig had been hiding it from Feliciano since he knew that the Italian needed some outlet from all these years of pent up emotion._

_"Thank you, Ludwig... don't worry. We won't talk about Holy Rome for now. Right now, it's just us..." Feliciano sniffed the air, the wonderful, inviting smell of cookies reaching his nose. "...and the cookies."_

_Feliciano sat in a chair at the kitchen table as Ludwig watched over the cookies in the oven. He couldn't help but notice that Ludwig seemed to be a little off, maybe even strained. But the moment was too special to inquire now, not when this disturbance could be linked to something else._

_"I want to have more days like today," Feliciano said simply, casting Ludwig a gentle smile. No Holy Rome, no flashbacks, just Feliciano and Ludwig._

_That very thing was what made this day perfect._

* * *

**end chapter ****_THREE_**

* * *

**AN:** Augh I'm so sorry everyone! Hurricane Sandy completely WRECKED my state, I had no power and internet for 11 straight days! Luckily, everything's back to normal, so we can get cracking! I'm sorry this chapter is so long, but I hope you like it anyway, and that the writing doesn't bore you completely to death D:


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